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On the Tim Ferriss Podcast with Tony Robbins, Tony goes off on an amazing but very thought provoking tangent.
His theory of what’s wrong with society is that we continuously put achievement before fulfillment. We’re always looking for the next big thing, the next toy, house, car, or vacation. Nothing is ever good enough and you’re destined to die a lonely death.
Tony talks about Robin Williams and how he asks about Robin to crowds all over the world. Everywhere Tony goes he says 98% of the crowd LOVES Robin Williams, the other 2%? He makes fun of them too.
He asks crowds about Williams because he trying to make a point. Robin Williams of all people had it all, he’d won every award in his field, he was widely regarded as one of the best comedians and actors of his generation. Then Tony get’s mad. “And what did Robin after all of those achievements? He hung himself. He still wasn’t good enough in his mind.”
We have a duty in the life to help others. One major way is to focus on fulfillment and forget achievement. How can you do this? It’s hard to forget about achievement, we’re built to want ti achieve. It makes us feel good, it’s an ego boost. But the problem with achievement is that it can get addicting, you can want it at all costs, sacrificing things you never would have. Eventually simply focusing on achievement will lead you to disappointment.
Fulfillment is sustainable. Fulfillment is that feeling that makes you smile when you wake up in the morning and the reason you’re happy falling asleep. It’s challenging, it’s spiritual, it’s something personal, it’s your journey. It has nothing to do with anyone else, it’s your art and only you know if you’re putting in 110% all the time. When you do, you’ll get a weird feeling of contentment.
Which one are you?
When a new challenge comes along do you jump on it? Do you tell yourself you can do it instead of the opposite? Good, I like you.
Or…
When someone asks you something to do and you’re unsure of, do you immediately say “NO”?
When someone asks you to do something uncomfortable do you try to avoid it?
When someone asks you to do something and you say “I can’t” you’re doing terrible things to your brain on multiple different levels. Your conscious mind likes the decision because you don’t need to try anything new, staying the same is easy. If all you do is seek out and perform tasks that are “easy” you’ll never learn.
Doing what’s easy or safe affects your subconscious mind too. Your subconscious mind thinks that any task you say “no” to is now something you can’t do, just because of your attitude not your ability. You’re creating a precedent for your mind to say, I can’t, I shouldn’t, I’m no good at that. Think if that was your attitude as a child? You wouldn’t have learned very much at all! In the long run “safe” doesn’t help anyone.
Chip and Dan Heath from the book Switch tell us to be wary of what we tell our subconscious mind.
The now famous Heath Brothers compare your conscious and subconscious mind to that of an Elephant and a person riding it. Your conscious mind (the rider) in the grand scheme of your brain is quite small and relatively powerless compared to your subconscious (the Elephant). The catch is the Elephant (your subconscious) doesn’t choose what to focus on, it simply listens to the conscious mind. Hence the “power of positive thinking”, affirmations, goal setting, all have the same goal in mind, to tap into the power of your subconscious.
A coach at a volleyball camp when asked to do an underhand serve said those horrible, horrible words. I CAN’T. Basically saying “I have no courage, I can not even fathom doing this incredibly difficult task you have given me!” ANY volleyball player can do an underhand serve, let alone a coach!!!!
Then I realized I couldn’t convince her otherwise. She’d put up a wall to learned new things. Whatever her conscious mind told her she couldn’t do, her subconscious believe through and through. This is why this attitude is so bad for anyone.
As much as you probably don’t believe the Hollywood Blockbuster “Yes Man” movie, it’s a brilliant thought experiment. Saying ‘yes’ to as many opportunities that come your way is a great way to show others you’re willing to try new things, that you’re spontaneous, and that generally fun to hangout with.
When you say “I can’t” it’s like you’ve given up, it’s a defeatist attitude. And people don’t want to associate with defeated people.
The opposite is that one friend you have had that never wanted to try anything new, that never would join the group or try anything new, every time you ask they have an excuse as to why not. Get far, far away from these people they are toxic and you don’t want to learn any bad habits from them.
The hard thing isn’t usually what you think it is. In the entrepreneurial journey there are a lot of emotions, life gets down right shitty some days. There is hope though. You’re on a journey only the greatest minds of our world start out on. A journey that most won’t try make. The journey of a true entrepreneur is plagued with disappointment, triumph, and even more let down. As long as you stay a little more positive than those negative thoughts you’re going to come out the other side a winner.
When you’re in it, it sucks. There’s no way to describe it. It’s a necessary evil, without the years of failure there is no learning, and no learning means no company.
What is the struggle?
Something every entrepreneur human being goes through. The longer you can last, the further you will go. A lot of people don’t last. The Struggle eats them up, destroys their soul, and all they’re left with is a scared, hurtful attitude towards anything outside of what is expected. Protectionism sets in the status quo is the only way of doing things.
Why do we have to struggle?
Simple, the universe doesn’t give you anything for free. Nothing in life is easy. The more you struggle, the better the reward.
There’s a famous quote from Bill Gates “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”. You have to struggle, there’s no easy way about it. You have to go through the bad to appreciate the good.
How long has the struggle been around?
The struggle has been around since the dawn of civilization. Our ancestors went through it. Anyone who has done anything worth talking about has been through it. Anyone who has that crease near the corner of the eye, you know the one, the one that lets you know they’ve been through a lot.
When we’re in the struggle our minds are our greatest enemy. We tell ourselves lies, we’re delusional, we create a reality in our heads that’s just not true. Humans are amazing at finding every possible way a plan can fail. We find every loophole that might come back to bite us in the ass. In this horrible state of mind we never look for the positive horizon with the attitude of it gets better. No instead we try to warn our subconscious with these thoughts, it’s a defence mechanism sounding the alarm bells. Read more