How To Talk To People: Stratlab Human Resource Policy 014

2. Remember don’t correct people in public!

Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People. Be agreeable, try not to tell people they are wrong, or correct them in public. That’s a great way to get someone to not like you. Some people tell themselves they love to argue but this is just a defense mechanism because they don’t think they can have a friendly conversation without disagreeing with you.

If you find someone who loves to play devil’s advocate politely tell them that the devil doesn’t need advocacy, he or she is doing quite well on his or her own. Instead try to find the truth in other people’s arguments. Try to find what you agree with. It’s easy finding fault or calling out what you don’t believe. It’s much more difficult to try to understand the world through their eyes.

We also learned from Mr. Carnegie that smiling at people helps in many ways, looking people in the eye when they are talking, giving people your attention and trying to find a general interest in people. These aren’t obvious ways to build relationships in 2019 and beyond but they were pretty forward thinking back in 1938 when he first wrote the book. The lessons in the book have stood the test of time and will remain valuable when we do business on Mars soon enough. HA!

Stop arguing, start encouraging.