Being Kind
Being rude, condescending, or just being an asshole will ensure whoever you were doing that to will remember you pretty much forever. Being rude can cost you so much more than you think. Word-of-mouth spreads, and when someone is being an uncalled-for jerk, you’re going to tell as many people that will listen to you about it.
When you’re rude to someone, when you do something negative to someone, not always but many times you’ll create what is called in psychology a “somatic marker“. An emotional moment in time that your mind and body can’t forget. You know that moment you get a bad feeling about something or someone? Something has triggered your body into sensing something is up. When you’re rude, mean, or just being an asshole, you’re creating a moment in time that’s forever attached to you.
It probably isn’t hard to remember. When people are rude to us it leaves an impression. An impression that’s difficult to forget. Our biology forces us to remember these negative moments because, at one time, that feeling may have saved our life. Our ancestors evolved by avoiding negative situations, negative situations that at one time may have been life or death. Today, those situations aren’t life and death, but the emotional side of ourselves can’t tell the difference. Being around rude people is literally bad for your health.
Have bad news? Call them and tell them, or better yet, take them out for lunch and tell them. When you send a negative email you’re priming the receiver to assume you always send negative emails. We had a client years ago who only emailed me when he was upset with something. After several weeks of DREADING his name in my inbox, we had to part ways. Get negative people out of your life (and inbox) your mental health is much more important.
Maybe you need to start sending nicer emails. If you’re guilty of this don’t worry you can make up for it! Start sending nice emails. Start congratulating people, calling out people’s good deeds, and sending them a note when you’re impressed. This will ensure when they see your name in their inbox they’ll rush to open it because it’s probably something positive.
If you jump to the negative immediately you’re taking the easy way out. It’s easy to be a critic, to find fault, to tell them what you don’t like. It’s much more difficult to show kindness, and empathy, or to find the positive in the situation. If you find someone being a critic, quickly remind yourself that they’re taking the easy way out. And no one openly likes a critic. We may find them funny at times but we don’t look up to them.
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